9/17/2023 0 Comments Im tired of feeling this wayFeeling bad for whatever reason is not the antithesis of working on yourself. Sometimes, we delude ourselves into thinking a constant cheery disposition, a propensity to move on quickly from heartbreak, frustration, depression, and a general funk is “high vibrational,” but it can become bypassing at best. The bells and whistles - overdoing it with excessive dedication to what healing looks like versus embodying the magic of it by letting yourself just exist - are creating expectations that can almost never be met and evading the beauty of the process. Anyway, I bought the crystals, I bought the herbs, I read the books, I learned the spells, and ultimately found out absolutely none of that shit was the magic. Turns out shadow work in cognitive behavioral therapy and shadow work in literal witchcraft is the same thing. When I first started my healing journey - meaning I approached my world with intention in a way I never had prior - it coincided with a spiritual awakening. You don’t need whatever mystified version of healing you think exists. A grade is a disrespect to your expansiveness. Who you are, however, is so much bigger than a grade. To be afraid that if you’re not always feeling A+, then you’re failing at doing The Thing correctly. Listen to your instinct when it’s time to pull back and trust that the toolbox you’ve stocked in a season of heavy inner work will be helpful and illuminating in a season of frivolity.Īs someone who still begs my therapist for a gold star after every session, I know what it’s like to have Good Student Syndrome. All of the newness you step into while deep in shadow work, you have to go out there and live by having fun, making new connections, responding differently to old narratives, and fully engaging in a new way of being. A student of language is most successful in an integrated and immersive experience, not when you’re in a classroom slaving over worksheets. “The Work,” in my opinion, operates like learning a new language. The only way you’ll find out is if you stop working to build someone who already exists, who doesn’t need to be fixed, and whose ready for a little space in your life as they are. Some of us may still be learning that they answer to a new name, that they dance to a different tune. But now, we’re operating in the body, soul, mind, and character of a brand new bitch who we’re still becoming acquainted with. We take that information and create a buffer of support as we shed habits, coping mechanisms, and protective instincts which got us this far and no longer serve us. In healing, we acquire new information which shows us a better way. Not to contradict the brilliance of Maya Angelou, but just because you know better, does not mean you do better immediately, consistently, and flawlessly.
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